Get gourmet bun-beasts, fast

The gulf between fine dining and fast food is pretty vast, from the way they source ingredients, to the quality of the dining rooms, to exactly how much they can charge Jack Osbourne for a delicious boneless rib sandwich. Making serious food fast: Joe's Burgers.

From a Wolfgang Puck-trained chef inspired by delicious memories of SoCal quick-serve, the eponymous Joe's is a deco-ish, high-ceilinged scarfing temple slinging classic fast American chow that’s thoughtfully constructed, right down to the "bits of cheese and chili left on the wrapper", or at least the ones Prince Markie Dee didn’t Wipeout. Joe's hangs its reputation on fresh-grilled burgers constructed to Cali-stand specs with grass-fed, grain-finished Cascade Natural beef patties, "secret sauce", hand-torn iceberg, thick-sliced tomatoes, caramelized onions, and American, plus enhanced versions like one meant to deliver all the greasy oomph with none of the mess thanks to slightly thickened meat chili (slightly thickened meat gets paid $240 per film to deliver big messes). Further consumption can involve a roster of dogs like the Diablo (all-beef Boar's Head frank wrapped in bacon before being deep-fried and topped w/ chili), which's perfect paired with Joe's crisp onion rings and seasonal, hand-spun, Alpenrose ice cream shakes like the Cookies 'n Cream, or what Cookie Monster calls “Friday night at my place back in the late '60s, after I got that turntable”.

Keep your peepers peeled for fresh additions in the very near future, including tapped micros, and special burger options like the Cowboy, topped with onion rings and housemade BBQ sauce, which Jack'll totally eat all of, even after getting a good McRibbing.